People Share INCREDIBLE ILLEGAL LIFE HACKS (r/AskReddit NSFW)

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62 Responses

  1. Username says:

    (Insert comment from 9yr claiming to be a super hacker)

  2. Rednassie says:

    Wait… I always sneak 100 my candy in the theatre in my pockets. My bro in law told me he definetely sees it but doesn’t want to ruin someones evening and also doesn’t care

    • Alex P says:

      +huseyn tas Bende yapıyorum çaktırmayın

    • Echo Space says:

      Rednassie same

    • Rednassie says:

      +Echo Space gonna do it again tomorrow with endgame.
      If anyone spoils it I will break into your house, put a metal rod above your head while you sleep and tickle your toes so you jump up and hit your head on the metal rod. I will also rearrange your keyboard to spell “Fuckhead”.

    • Raspian Kiado says:

      I sneak in Popcorn, because I’m allergic to dairy

    • godsplayingfield says:

      unless it’s some swanky high end theater, or the worker is one of those suck ups where reality hasnt beaten them into submission yet types. nota single god damn theater worker is gonna care aboutyou bringing food in as long as you make even the lightest attempt to hide it (atleast enough so it isnt obvious on the camera’s as you’re walking in) so as long as you have pockets or a backpack, you’re good.
      they literally do not get paid enough to care, they barely get paid enough to wake up and go to work in the first place.

  3. Supreme Scum says:

    Need to right an assay? Copy one from another language and translate it into the needed language. Bingo.

  4. Plastiic-cake says:

    You can buy uniforms for movie theaters etc. at any goodwill. Just saying. No reason why.

    • Melonypanda says:

      Free popcorn

    • Wesburg Willies says:

      Naaah this wont work, most theatres get new shirts every couple months to promote a new movie, anyone wearing an old uniform will stick out. Used to work at a movie theatre and coworkers wud make fun of me for wearing old shirts cause too lazy to do laundry.

    • Plastiic-cake says:

      My plans are ruined! Also I was kinda surprised when I saw a gif on my screen lol

    • Matthias Thulman says:

      You can get an Agent 47 style collection of uniforms and different work style shirts from working part time just about anywhere.

      I could be a butcher, mechanic at a Ford dealership, construction worker, or just about anything else just by opening my closet.

      And as long as you look and act like you belong, you can go anywhere

    • Blanco says:

      Bruh my city’s movie theater is small all employees probably know each other

  5. S. James says:

    > *INCREDIBLY ILLEGAL LIFE HACKS*

    >expensive hotels have the best bathrooms

    😂😂😂

  6. The RedNeckEngineNerd says:

    Most (old) camera battries are a Bunch of stacked up watch battries, you end up paying half price for most of them.

  7. Daryl Chance says:

    Need a reference? Call this number 235 867-5309, ask for Art Vandelay. I’ve seen him give references for people who never even worked for him, just for the hell of it.

    The Coinstar hack? (Serious) Join one of the many Credit Unions that have a similar machine in the lobby. They’ll take member’s coins with no fee below a certain daily max.

    • David Beaulieu says:

      I think the dead body hack is far more useful.

    • damen whelan says:

      +David Beaulieu they keep digging to make sure the ground isn’t disturbed as this has become almost common knowledge.
      Unless you are in a county or country that doesn’t really give a shit.

  8. GoingSavage says:

    Use an empty gift card for free trials

  9. Jacob Reddick says:

    PSA:
    Just as a heads up for 4:10.

    If the company has a competent HR staff, you can easily get blacklisted by many companies. (eg Wall Street firms rat on scumbag candidates to other firms, same with many financial/accounting/tech firms in major cities)

    They will catch that the document has too many words that what appears in the counter. Some will also catch it in PDF as it will show up as a “blank” text box/form.

    This is not the best idea if you are applying to a massive firm.

    • Max Powers says:

      Too bad. That one actually sounded like it would be useful.

    • damen whelan says:

      +Max Powers
      I is. Just know how and when to use it.
      Some firms will use it in house for tracking. Won’t tell you how just tell you to use X templates.

    • MuerteFamily says:

      By list of things in their website. do they mean list of things pertaining to the specific job or applying for? or just any list of text on the website?

  10. Kat Howard says:

    Hey- heads up to the people trying to charge a Visa Rewards Bank Card on a flight. Most planes have WiFi now and so they will charge right there. I paid for WiFi and have my card set up to email me when there’s a new transaction- as soon as the attendant swiped my card and completed the transaction, I got an email saying my card had been used for a purchase on the exact flight I was on.

    • Warboss I hate stairs says:

      Dammit I thought I finally had a use for all those empty visa gift cards I carry in my wallet for some reason

  11. 1234 says:

    Wait do people actually buy theater food?

    • Mi mi says:

      I buy popcorn and get the cold drinks from there

    • uhh dude that would be salt says:

      +Laggy Potato Walmart: _Don’t fucking move_

    • Super Swag says:

      I buy the 130 oz plastic tubs that give unlimited refills for like $5 a refill off of the internet. They go for like $5-$10 when there is no popcorn in them, as opposed to $29.99+.

      If you plan to share your popcorn, buy plastic popcorn containers. These come in sets of 4, all the way up to sets of 500, before you go to the movies.(Most sets of 4 are lke $4-$7) That way you can portion out the popcorn from the tub to your family.

      So for a family of 4, you’re paying $14-$22 instead of $29.99 for your 130 oz popcorn tub, and reusable plastic popcorn bags to share. And getting your second refill is still cheaper than buying the tub outright, since refills are only $5.

      I also buy drinks, never bothered to think up any money saving hacks for them because of how minimal the savings would be.

    • Axirn Indar says:

      If I like the theater.
      There’s a local theater they play first runs but the tickets are cheap saw endgame for $6, they make their own pizza so I bought two large slices, a pint of porter and a small popcorn all together spent $25.
      Theaters profit most off of concessions so if there’s one I like I show them some love.

    • Echo Space says:

      1234 I buy popcorn

  12. Unicorn Lover says:

    Grab some stuff of a shelf that you want (not too big of items or else it’s sus) ask if you can return them and say they were never opened etc. they will ask for receipt, you say you don’t have it, they will ask if you used a credit card (say no.) They will say there is nothing they can do, you get upset and say “You know what never mind. I will just keep them.“ and walk right out

  13. Mr Note says:

    The key to getting people to trust you immediatly (other than spending alot of time getting to know you and being nice) is to just be honest once in a situation when they are really expecting you to lie.

    Back in high school this teacher asked for some paper to be signed by our parents. I said that both mine had gone on a vacation and left me and sis behind, so they couldn’t sign. Teacher said she wasn’t buying it and lowered my grade. However it was the TRUTH, so when they get back I get them to write and sign explaining the situation. Teacher apologised and we kept on.
    What I realized is that after the incident she would let me give homeworks late or she would give extra points for whatever little thing I said, and it wasn’t guilt, she geniunly thought I had the right to it!

  14. xHorizon says:

    5:04 You can also just give a very stupid response. For example,

    “Did you scratch my brand new car when you were at my house?”

    “Wait, you have a car?”

    “Oh, wait, never mind”

  15. Chris V says:

    Want good service at a restaurant bring a small note pad and pen and occasionally scribble in it they will think you are a critic

  16. I will be Everywhere says:

    Gonna need that girl on the thumbnail yo, weeb reasons

  17. Meme_War_Pepe says:

    that one about putting a dead animal above a body to make the cops think it’s a false alarm has me worried

    • Matthias Thulman says:

      People smell different than animals, both alive and dead. This trick really doesn’t work

    • Master Chief Petty Officer Spartan 117 says:

      Meme_War_Pepe make it feel like a pet burial then the cops are like “oh some kid buried there poor pet here

  18. Erwin Schrodinger says:

    That empty card for in flight purchases is genius

  19. pratiksha gaikwad says:

    Incredible life hack – steal from babies and beggers
    pathatic

  20. Pepega says:

    – just bought drugs from dealer
    – cop cars pulls up right next to me
    – 2 cops jump out and starts searching my pockets
    – “wait up officer let me tie my drugs to this helium balloon first”

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242960,242953,242994,242947,242968,243008,243002,242959,242984,242992,242971,242978,243000,243005,242970,242991,242988,242964,242977,242966 )  ORDER
BY lifehacks_comments.comment_date_gmt ASC, lifehacks_comments.comment_ID ASC ;
0.6239 [ms]
SELECT lifehacks_comments.* FROM lifehacks_comments WHERE comment_ID IN
(243004,242987,242969,242986,243003,242999,242998,242958,242993,242952,242997,242976,242975,242974,242951,242950,242985,242983,242982,242981,242973,242980,242996,242995,242949,242990,242957,242963,242972,242967,243001,242956,242948,243007,243006,242962,242961,242955,242954,242965,242989,242979);
0.4332 [ms]
SELECT  lifehacks_comments.comment_ID FROM lifehacks_comments  WHERE ( comment_approved = '1' ) AND comment_post_ID = 26032 AND comment_parent IN (
243004,242987,242969,242986,243003,242999,242998,242958,242993,242952,242997,242976,242975,242974,242951,242950,242985,242983,242982,242981,242973,242980,242996,242995,242949,242990,242957,242963,242972,242967,243001,242956,242948,243007,243006,242962,242961,242955,242954,242965,242989,242979
)  ORDER BY lifehacks_comments.comment_date_gmt ASC, lifehacks_comments.comment_ID ASC ;
14.1010 [ms]
SELECT SQL_CALC_FOUND_ROWS  lifehacks_posts.ID FROM lifehacks_posts  WHERE 1=1  AND lifehacks_posts.post_type = 'post' AND
(lifehacks_posts.post_status = 'publish')  ORDER BY lifehacks_posts.post_date DESC LIMIT 0, 5;
0.0420 [ms]
SELECT FOUND_ROWS();
0.1671 [ms]
SELECT lifehacks_posts.* FROM lifehacks_posts WHERE ID IN (27596,27584,27580,27576,27571);
1.9529 [ms]
SELECT  t.*, tt.*, tr.object_id FROM lifehacks_terms AS t  INNER JOIN lifehacks_term_taxonomy AS tt ON t.term_id = tt.term_id INNER JOIN
lifehacks_term_relationships AS tr ON tr.term_taxonomy_id = tt.term_taxonomy_id WHERE tt.taxonomy IN ('category', 'post_tag', 'post_format') AND
tr.object_id IN (27571, 27576, 27580, 27584, 27596) ORDER BY t.name ASC ;
0.3729 [ms]
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value FROM lifehacks_postmeta WHERE post_id IN (27571,27576,27580,27584,27596) ORDER BY meta_id ASC;
0.1311 [ms]
SELECT rating_username, rating_rating, rating_ip FROM lifehacks_ratings WHERE rating_postid = 26032;
0.2081 [ms]
SELECT * FROM lifehacks_posts WHERE ID = 27598 LIMIT 1;
0.1290 [ms]
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value FROM lifehacks_postmeta WHERE post_id IN (27598) ORDER BY meta_id ASC;
0.1831 [ms]
SELECT * FROM lifehacks_posts WHERE ID = 27586 LIMIT 1;
0.1302 [ms]
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value FROM lifehacks_postmeta WHERE post_id IN (27586) ORDER BY meta_id ASC;
0.1800 [ms]
SELECT * FROM lifehacks_posts WHERE ID = 27582 LIMIT 1;
0.2360 [ms]
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value FROM lifehacks_postmeta WHERE post_id IN (27582) ORDER BY meta_id ASC;
0.2491 [ms]
SELECT * FROM lifehacks_posts WHERE ID = 27578 LIMIT 1;
0.2301 [ms]
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value FROM lifehacks_postmeta WHERE post_id IN (27578) ORDER BY meta_id ASC;
0.2139 [ms]
SELECT * FROM lifehacks_posts WHERE ID = 27573 LIMIT 1;
0.2840 [ms]
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value FROM lifehacks_postmeta WHERE post_id IN (27573) ORDER BY meta_id ASC;
21.4040 [ms]
SELECT SQL_CALC_FOUND_ROWS  lifehacks_posts.ID FROM lifehacks_posts  WHERE 1=1  AND lifehacks_posts.post_type = 'post' AND
(lifehacks_posts.post_status = 'publish')  ORDER BY lifehacks_posts.comment_count DESC LIMIT 0, 5;
0.0529 [ms]
SELECT FOUND_ROWS();
0.1469 [ms]
SELECT lifehacks_posts.* FROM lifehacks_posts WHERE ID IN (12668,16706,16885,15247,14210);
1.6720 [ms]
SELECT  t.*, tt.*, tr.object_id FROM lifehacks_terms AS t  INNER JOIN lifehacks_term_taxonomy AS tt ON t.term_id = tt.term_id INNER JOIN
lifehacks_term_relationships AS tr ON tr.term_taxonomy_id = tt.term_taxonomy_id WHERE tt.taxonomy IN ('category', 'post_tag', 'post_format') AND
tr.object_id IN (12668, 14210, 15247, 16706, 16885) ORDER BY t.name ASC ;
0.4890 [ms]
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value FROM lifehacks_postmeta WHERE post_id IN (12668,14210,15247,16706,16885) ORDER BY meta_id ASC;
0.2260 [ms]
SELECT rating_username, rating_rating, rating_ip FROM lifehacks_ratings WHERE rating_postid = 26032;
0.2401 [ms]
SELECT * FROM lifehacks_posts WHERE ID = 12670 LIMIT 1;
0.2341 [ms]
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value FROM lifehacks_postmeta WHERE post_id IN (12670) ORDER BY meta_id ASC;
0.2739 [ms]
SELECT * FROM lifehacks_posts WHERE ID = 16708 LIMIT 1;
0.2379 [ms]
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value FROM lifehacks_postmeta WHERE post_id IN (16708) ORDER BY meta_id ASC;
0.2542 [ms]
SELECT * FROM lifehacks_posts WHERE ID = 16887 LIMIT 1;
0.1941 [ms]
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value FROM lifehacks_postmeta WHERE post_id IN (16887) ORDER BY meta_id ASC;
0.2570 [ms]
SELECT * FROM lifehacks_posts WHERE ID = 15249 LIMIT 1;
0.2120 [ms]
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value FROM lifehacks_postmeta WHERE post_id IN (15249) ORDER BY meta_id ASC;
0.2189 [ms]
SELECT * FROM lifehacks_posts WHERE ID = 14212 LIMIT 1;
0.2151 [ms]
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value FROM lifehacks_postmeta WHERE post_id IN (14212) ORDER BY meta_id ASC;
42.1441 [ms]
SELECT  t.*, tt.* FROM lifehacks_terms AS t  INNER JOIN lifehacks_term_taxonomy AS tt ON t.term_id = tt.term_id WHERE tt.taxonomy IN ('post_tag') AND
tt.count > 0 ORDER BY tt.count DESC LIMIT 45;
0.4060 [ms]
SELECT term_id, meta_key, meta_value FROM lifehacks_termmeta WHERE term_id IN
(73,367,662,16133,229,16134,16431,16132,18942,1133,18943,14735,130,123,20855,20654,2961,13554,349,12618,193,353,180,352,422,1720,867,13557,13453,283,378,564)
ORDER BY meta_id ASC;
273.1040 [ms]
SELECT DISTINCT lifehacks_posts.ID, (t1.meta_value+0.00) AS ratings_average, (t2.meta_value+0.00) AS ratings_users, (t3.meta_value+0.00) AS
ratings_score FROM lifehacks_posts LEFT JOIN lifehacks_postmeta AS t1 ON t1.post_id = lifehacks_posts.ID LEFT JOIN lifehacks_postmeta As t2 ON
t1.post_id = t2.post_id LEFT JOIN lifehacks_postmeta AS t3 ON t3.post_id = lifehacks_posts.ID WHERE t1.meta_key = 'ratings_average' AND t2.meta_key =
'ratings_users' AND t3.meta_key = 'ratings_score' AND lifehacks_posts.post_password = '' AND lifehacks_posts.post_date < NOW() AND
lifehacks_posts.post_status = 'publish' AND t2.meta_value >= 0 AND 1=1 ORDER BY ratings_average DESC, ratings_users DESC LIMIT 10;
0.1791 [ms]
SELECT lifehacks_posts.* FROM lifehacks_posts WHERE ID IN (1228,919,3455,628,962,3824,4447,25030,983,3055);
1.4608 [ms]
SELECT  t.*, tt.*, tr.object_id FROM lifehacks_terms AS t  INNER JOIN lifehacks_term_taxonomy AS tt ON t.term_id = tt.term_id INNER JOIN
lifehacks_term_relationships AS tr ON tr.term_taxonomy_id = tt.term_taxonomy_id WHERE tt.taxonomy IN ('category', 'post_tag', 'post_format') AND
tr.object_id IN (628, 919, 962, 983, 1228, 3055, 3455, 3824, 4447, 25030) ORDER BY t.name ASC ;
0.5960 [ms]
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value FROM lifehacks_postmeta WHERE post_id IN (628,919,962,983,1228,3055,3455,3824,4447,25030) ORDER BY meta_id ASC;
NoticeOnly variables should be passed by reference on line 98 in file /home/domains/cleverlifehacks.com/htdocs/wp-content/themes/hueman-master/option-tree/ot-loader.php
NoticeOnly variables should be passed by reference on line 326 in file /home/domains/cleverlifehacks.com/htdocs/wp-content/themes/hueman-master/option-tree/ot-loader.php
DeprecatedMethods with the same name as their class will not be constructors in a future version of PHP; AlxTabs has a deprecated constructor on line 14 in file /home/domains/cleverlifehacks.com/htdocs/wp-content/themes/hueman-master/functions/widgets/alx-tabs.php
DeprecatedMethods with the same name as their class will not be constructors in a future version of PHP; AlxVideo has a deprecated constructor on line 14 in file /home/domains/cleverlifehacks.com/htdocs/wp-content/themes/hueman-master/functions/widgets/alx-video.php
DeprecatedMethods with the same name as their class will not be constructors in a future version of PHP; AlxPosts has a deprecated constructor on line 14 in file /home/domains/cleverlifehacks.com/htdocs/wp-content/themes/hueman-master/functions/widgets/alx-posts.php